Hi, ya'll.
The name's Tania.(25) From Angel Grove, California.
I reblog pretty pictures because I have no creativity of my own. haha Mostly Arashi and things that make me laugh.
A concept in my head that been rolling around a lot:
Hanahaki, but instead of it being triggered by unrequited love, it’s triggered because all the love you have for a person turns inwards because you’re too afraid to show it.
So it kills you, not because someone doesn’t love you back, but because you don’t let it out and all that love you have stored, that could grow into something beautiful, turns on you and turns your insides beautiful.
Love is growth, and without any place for it to grow outside, it grows in. If you confess, reciprocated or not, the disease goes away because it’s no longer trapped. It gives self-destruction a new meaning.
tumblr mobile won’t let me upload a voice recording, so I guess you’re all spared hearing about my thoughts that people (some of them at least) aren’t actually desperate for comments. What they’re actually missing is community.
screw it. I put it up on drive. I’ll try to figure out tomorrow if it actually makes sense or not- and I’ll transcribe it if no one else beats me to it
It’s not about comments, it’s about community. I’m lying here at 1:36 in the morning and I can’t sleep and that keeps going around and around in my head. It’s not comments, it’s community. I dunno if this is an epiphany or I’m an insomniac and I’m not making any sense.
But I’ve been running this blog for three and a half years now and seeing the things that spark joy in authors, and seeing the insecurities, and seeing people saying, “I need comments, I want comments, I have to have comments, if I don’t have comments then I just feel like I need to give up” – and I try and understand as best as I can but I don’t think I actually get there. And I think the reason why that is, is because I’ve always had some form of community.
When I joined my last fandom, I knew a couple of people who were interested in it on tumblr, but I threw my first fic out there not knowing what I’d get. The fandom was still small at the time, and…the show was on hiatus, and there wasn’t a lot of fic going on AO3, and so…when I put my fic out there, I actually got a response and it was pretty cool. And because I got online in the 90’s, when people commented to me, I commented back in a conversational tone, and because the fandom was full of people of a similar age to me – who also got on the internet in the 90’s – they also responded in a conversational tone. And next thing you know, we’re making friends, we’re following each other on tumblr, we’re having a grand ol’ time.
And so…for me, when I go into a stats spiral, it’s more about comparing myself against myself, and “why am I not doing better with this story than this other story”, and “why do people like that story? That was just a joke. This one that’s serious, nobody is paying attention to and why is that”? But it’s not so much about people and the comments or the lack of comments, it’s more about me and, you know, trying to understand my own writing and you know, what works and what doesn’t and relying on other people won’t tell me that and I know that.
And then I remembered the one time when I actually was upset that I didn’t get comments. And it was…I had organized this fandom event type of thing – not really an event – I was doing this thing, and anyone who wanted to participate or support me or encourage me was welcome to do so. I wanted to do a thing. I did…I, um, called it a ficathon, it was a March Madness kind of thing, where 64 prompts went in, and 1 prompt came out. And I was writing 64 fics at the same time and people were voting on them and it was great. And when we got to the final fic, and I wrote it and posted it on AO3, after – I dunno, a month? – of fanfare – I was getting 50 votes a day on these things, so like people were reading. I didn’t get comments. I barely had hits or kudos and it was a huge let down. And it wasn’t about the comments, even though I remember I wrote some kind of post and put it on tumblr that I was upset and whatever, and I remember writing about comments and kudos and hits.
But that wasn’t why I was upset. I was upset because I had created a thing for my community and it felt like my community ignored it. It wasn’t the case and everything was fine, and you know, I had posted it on a Tuesday afternoon or something stupid and nobody saw it. It was, you know. I…probably overreacted, I dunno. But that was how I was feeling at the time. It was an intense disappointment for me.
But it wasn’t about the numbers, it was about the relationship and the community.
And when I read some of the asks that I get or the tags on posts – oh my god, the tags on posts – when I see these things so often, it feels like what people want isn’t a comment, it’s a connection. They want people to talk to about their writing. They want people to talk to about stories or about the canon, the characters they love, they want to have a conversation. And for whatever reason, the way social media is set up, we expect that conversation to happen in a certain way or we don’t realize it can happen in a different way, and…I dunno. AO3 isn’t even social media. But it looks like it in a lot of ways. And so I think…I dunno, people look for community in their comment section. And it’s hard to build a community there.
If you have friends on tumblr, or twitter, or discord, or wherever else, if you have relationships with people outside of your fic, at least for me, the comments are less necessary but also, the comments come because – I mean, god knows, I was not the best writer in my fandom by a long stretch – but I knew a lot of people. And I liked them and they liked me, and I think that really helped make people want to read my stories. Because again, it’s that community piece. I’m looking for connections with them and they’re looking for connections too. And if they know me as a person, and they see a story with my name on it, they might think, “Oh, I really like Pi! I’m going to click in and see what her story’s about.”
And so, it’s…it comes down to community. Like am I crazy here? Am I wrong? I mean, obviously this isn’t the case for everybody, not everyone is looking for this community, but…yeah. That’s…just…it feels like it comes down to that. For me. That’s the piece that’s missing. That’s the piece that people crave, the thing they’re looking for. It’s not about the comments, it’s not about the numbers, it’s about connections and relationships. And that’s the part that’s missing.
It’s no secret that one of the reasons Traviss listed for criticizing the Jedi in the Expanded Universe books she wrote is their treatment of the clones (or at least what she understood it to be).
In 2008, she wrote a now-deleted blog post about it (it was really long, so I’m only including the part relevant to my point, if you want the full context you can look it up, this is old stuff).
So if you ask me, in the above quote, Traviss is essentially doing the equivalent of saying:
“Batman is a psycho elitist who beats up the mentally ill and indoctrinates kids, turning them into child soldiers for his unending crazy vigilante war on crime, and if you can’t recognize that then you scare the living crap out of me.”
Like… you can argue that, and a couple of comics have argued that.
But by and large, the general consensus is that Batman is a superhero, the Robins are his sons and daughter, and the “mentally ill” are in fact the Joker and Two-Face aka mass murderers.
So if you make that argument, that’s you applying your real-life values and conclusions to a narrative that deliberately doesn’t acknowledge those points, in-universe, in order to tell the story it wants to tell.
It’s counting on your suspension of disbelief, defined as “the avoidance—often described as willing—of critical thinking and logic in understanding something that is unreal or impossible in reality, such as something in a work of speculative fiction, in order to believe it for the sake of enjoying its narrative.”
The Jedi accepting the clones and the clones being slaves isn’t a “delicate point”. It’s barely a point at all!
It’s never addressed in the film (because of course it isn’t, the Prequels are about Anakin and the Republic, not the clones).
It’s only addressed once by Slick, an unreliable narrator, in The Clone Wars.
That’s it. Hell, in 2008, when The Clone Wars writer Henry Gilroy was asked to comment on the relationship between clones and Jedi, he explicitly said he’d “rather not get into” that particular point.
I recently got Mythmaking: Behind the Scenes of ‘Attack of the Clones’ and nowhere is that detail touched on by Lucas at any point.
So while Traviss acknowledges the Jedi are fictional characters, she doesn’t follow that thread through to the end by acknowledging that fictional characters don’t have free will, they must abide by the story and the whim of the writer.
She’s engaging with the material, but refusing to engage with the narrative. She’s having her cake and eating it too.
My reason for saying all this is that in the book Star Wars on Trial, she elaborates on her thought process upon discovering this detail.
Shortly before to this, she acknowledges twice that she knew nothing about Star Wars, beside seeing the original films in her youth.
Another writer who saw the new films and saw Mace Windu argue against there being a war…
… the worry on his face at the prospect of the Jedi being thrown at the Separatists…
… and the sheer melancholy on Yoda’s face upon announcing the Clone War had begun…
… might have instead wondered how the Jedi, so opposed to war, could’ve ended up being generals.
Because while we don’t see the Jedi openly protest the use of the clones in the film… they’re not exactly giddy about it, either. All they can do is watch powerlessly as it gets voted by the Senate.
“The Jedi are there. But the Jedi aren’t really allowed to be involved in the political process. They’re there, but they can’t suddenly step up and say, "No, no. You can’t do that.” They have to let the political process go.“ - George Lucas, Attack of the Clones, Commentary #2, 2002
We also don’t see them take on the role of generals, either.
We only see them begrudgingly lead troops on Geonosis, specifically.
But they’re not referred to as "generals” yet.
Another writer might have imagined a scene where after Geonosis, Mace Windu talks to Palpatine thinking the Jedi will go back to their roles as diplomats, and that what we saw in Attack of the Clones was a one-time thing to save Obi-Wan, but Palpatine politely goes:
“Ha! No. Didn’t you hear? The Senate was so impressed by your performance on Geonosis that they voted to make you all generals in the GAR. Now, get back to the front.”
Another writer might’ve elected to write them having that “big moral debate” she mentions.
Instead, Traviss immediately jumps on the “Jedi are elitists” train.
Because her personal experience with the military makes her sympathize with the clones and her personal belief is that - while the story may frame the Jedi as “the good guys” - nobody is that good a guy, real life people aren’t that pure and selfless.
That’s her choosing to take that line of thought instead of one more in-line with the story, because she perceives it as unrealistic. But like… Star Wars isn’t real life, it’s a fairy tale.
That’s like saying:
“The hunter in Little Red Riding Hood commits animal cruelty by cutting the Wolf open. He should’ve let nature take its course, the wolf earned that meal fair and square. If you think the hunter should’ve saved Red Riding Hood and her Grandma, then clearly you’re the kind of monster who thinks one life is worth more than others.”
… no?
The story’s narrative clearly portrays the wolf as the villain of the tale and frames the Hunter saving Red Riding Hood as a good thing.
Disagreeing with that narrative is absolutely fine, but anybody who acknowledges the wolf is the bad guy in the story isn’t automatically an animal hater and/or a bad person. Just because you say “the wolf is the villain” doesn’t mean that you think that, in real life, killing wolves for shits and giggles is good.
Conversely, the narrative of the Prequels asks you to suspend your disbelief and not consider the implications that having a clone army entails. Because the use of clones doesn’t have a direct impact on either Anakin or the Senate’s stories.
This post seems like a great example of a Star Wars fan engaging with the material but not the narrative.
I mean, let’s just forget, shall we, about the Jedi beginning the Prequel Trilogy as a hidebound order of ineffectives living in a literal ivory tower, and ending it as a bunch of paranoid, “ends justify the means” conspirators consciously violating their own rules and attempting to assassinate the head of state on the basis of professing the wrong religion. 😆
“A Star Wars fan engaging with the material but not the narrative.”
Okay. Shamelessly self-promoting low-effort response, here we go.
“I mean, let’s just forget, shall we, about the Jedi beginning the Prequel Trilogy as a hidebound order of ineffectives”
The first thing we see the Jedi do in the Prequel Trilogy is effectively survive an assassination attempt. Only so much negotiating you can do when the other party tries to have you killed before even meeting with you.
We’re also shown the Jedi aid in the liberation of a whole planet. So again… I’m not sure where you’re getting ineffective from.
On the contrary, Lucas refers to them as being in their “heyday”.
And re: them being hidebound, check out this post where you see their views matches Lucas’, making them being dogmatic unlikely: the narrative agrees with their teachings.
… you’ll find concept artists explaining that the Jedi Temple represents a place of worship, contrasting with the cold, metal Senate in which there are actual authority figures looking down upon the commoners.
You can interpret it however you want, obviously, but you brought up the intended narrative instead of just sticking to the material, like Traviss does, so the Temple is not meant to be an ivory tower.
“ending it as a bunch of paranoid,”
Paranoia is the unjustified/unwarranted suspicion and/or belief that one is under attack.
The Jedi and the Republic are actually under attack by the Sith. They’re not being paranoid, they’re being conscious about the unseen-but-very-real threat they’re up against.
“ends justify the means” […] consciously violating their own rules
As you point out in the 'replies’ section, Palpatine’s planned war was designed to corrupt the Jedi’s values.
Anyone is corrupted and loosens their values during a war. It’s a flaw, but it’s not a fault. Throughout Prequels they did things by the book, and it got them:
drafted into a war that they strongly advocated against
no closer to uncovering the Sith Lord
helpless to stop the Republic’s implosion.
While they made crappy choices, the alternatives were worse.
And the only people who criticize the Jedi’s actions in ROTS are Palpatine and Anakin, y'know, the two space-nazis.
So unless you’re telling me the narrative of the story (which has good/bad, white/black morality) sides with the villains, I’m pretty sure the narrative doesn’t criticize the Jedi for their actions, instead merely pointing them out to showcase how hard the war has been on them.
“conspirators […] attempting to assassinate the head of state on the basis of professing the wrong religion.
Yes, the Jedi totally have an issue with the Sith because they have the wrong religion. It’s why they murder Nightbrothers on sight–
Oh. Despite them being 1) darksiders who 2) try to kill Obi-Wan and Anakin, the Jedi make it a point of sparing their lives… even though they have superior weapons.
And when the Jedi interact with Mother Talzin, they’re firm but pretty polite about it.
So why do the Jedi actively try to stop the Sith but let the Nightsisters do their thing?
Because the Nightsisters don’t go around the galaxy murdering people or trying mass chaos throughout the galaxy in service of the “Fanged God”. No.
They do their rituals, they practice the Dark Side, and they kill people… but they do it in their own community, on their own planet (unlike the Sith who will kill anyone on any planet to get more power).
But guess how the Sith react to another Dark Side-worshipping religion?
Guess how the Sith react to literally any other Force-worshipping religion?
Talking about the Force, learning the Force, being Force-sensitive is outlawed, under the Sith.
Of course they’re gonna outlaw the Force. Nobody else gets to feel the Force, only them, so they can keep taking more and more.
The Sith’s religion consists of “kill anyone, kidnap and enslave anyone, hurt as many people as you need to put yourself on top and bend the Force to your will”.
That’s not a religion. That’s extremist serial killers who think they’re entitled to being in charge of the galaxy.
And trying to arrest the chancellor for being one of them isn’t "religious persecution”, it’s common sense.
You can have any interpretation of the material that you want.
But what you wrote and what Traviss took away from it is not the intended narrative. It’s an alternative (and uncharitable) way of engaging with the material. Which isn’t the same thing.
really not a fan of how many online retailers are no longer giving you the option to opt out of marketing emails during the checkout process
also not a fan of how many different mailing lists they seem to put you on. it’s not enough to unsubscribe once, i’m now finding myself having to unsubscribe four or five times just to stop getting emails
“what’s your dream job??” Uhh to have 17 weird little hobbies that I don’t have to be good at and hang out with friends. I get money via being the world’s specialist little princess
